For over a quarter of a century I lived every day with regret, shame, guilt, grief, pain and a deep, underlying depression. I was exhausted from hurting and tired of running from the memory and magnitude of what I’d done and the life I’d been living. But I was the daughter of the motivator’s motivator, Zig Ziglar, and I knew that I needed to be positive; I knew that “negative thinking” would just make things worse. So I would gather up all of my negative self-talk of disgust, self-loathing, anger, bitterness, resentment, guilt and shame and squash it down deep inside where it couldn’t seep out and ruin the bright and practiced smile I presented to the world.
My thought-life was like a war zone. The negative, self-degrading, words that dominated my thinking battled daily with the positive, uplifting words of encouragement my father taught in his books and from the platform. One thing I knew for sure, I was positive I was miserable!
My double life as a secret misfit and an outward overachiever was a living lie, but it has led me to a life of transparency and the topic of repentance, restoration and becoming your best you. I don’t teach in the old hell fire and brimstone way. I teach that tentative Christianity, not understanding that your life is fully God’s and not any of your business, makes for fence-straddling misery. I speak and write with total transparency from my personal experience and my stories help people recognize self-will, what sin really is, and how to surrender fully. There is no doubt when I’m done if someone is purposefully and willfully choosing to continue in sin and live outside of God’s will. There is also no doubt that joy, freedom, and peace come with being willing, available, and obedient to do what God has put in front of you to do and then letting go and letting God determine the direction of your life.
Many people know a little something about my father being a motivational and inspirational icon and they don’t expect a child who had the obvious advantages of growing up with a loving, positive, encouraging father and mother to have made such a mess of her life. My parents fully support my transparency while speaking publically, and their unwavering love for me is a blessing I thank God for daily.
For most of my life I heard my father say “You have to be the right kind of person to succeed in life. You have to be before you can do. You have to do before you can have.” I didn’t understand what it meant to BE the RIGHT KIND of person until I was well into my fourth decade of living. Today I know that it is impossible to fully achieve what my father teaches without surrendering your life to God. It is only through God’s power that man can overcome his selfish, self-destructive ways and become an asset to mankind and someone who can glorify God and praise Him in all things.
More than anything I want to help women who struggle with feeling like they can’t come to Jesus until they quit sinning. I didn’t understand grace when I was first saved and when I fell back into sexual sin the first time I thought Jesus would never have me back because I betrayed Him and let Him down.
The women I hope to resonate with intuitively “know” that God is the answer to their problems, but they feel unworthy of Him because they don’t understand His grace. Some of them have already given up on going to church where they feel the absolute worst of all, but many are sitting in churches feeling less than, apart from, and undeserving of a relationship with Jesus and those who sit around them. They have prayed for forgiveness, and even tried to dedicate their lives to loving Jesus and yet they are stuck, feeling unforgiven and unworthy of His love, so they exercise their freedom of choice and do another “this will make me feel better” sin.
The notion that you have to be good, be perfect, and make all the right choices to be loved by God, keeps countless numbers of people from the most astounding, uplifting, incredible relationship available to mankind. I know how sweet complete surrender is and I want everybody to know Jesus on that level.
Write Me if you have a question or a comment.